


put my heart down

by be_the_one



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent - All Media Types, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm Sorry, Major character death - Freeform, forgive me for this, i love four and tris to death, i'm on my period, i'm still so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 22:16:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15895206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/be_the_one/pseuds/be_the_one
Summary: He’s always seen her.He’s always noticed every little thing that she did.So, now, when she’s dancing underneath the pulsing lights, and her eyes are twinkling with delight and her hair is spinning around her face like a halo - how can he not notice her?And, just like always - he can’t ever look away.Not even now - when her arms are wrapped around another man, and her lips are locked with another’s - definitely not his, because the only thing his lips have touched for the past half an hour or so - he doesn’t really know, because for him, time ceased to exist the moment he saw her happy with someone else - is the shot glass, as he swallows shot after shot.And the part that really, really, burns?He still can’t look away.





	put my heart down

Always.

 

He’s always seen her.

 

It was always her.

 

* * *

 

When she first walked in with Uriah’s arm wrapped around her slim frame, and Uriah had introduced her as a friend - _a friend, thank god,_ because his heart had gone _clippity clop_ the moment she tossed him a casual glance, and a tiny barely-there smile. And then it’d whispered, _that’s it. That’s her. She’s the one._

And he was gone, gone, gone.

 

* * *

 

When he bumped into her at the Starbucks opposite the dojo where he taught martial arts twice a week, and she’d flushed an absolutely charming shade of pink.

And then his stupid, stupid, utterly stupid, and enchanted heart had missed a few beats, and left him gasping for air when she walked away.

 

* * *

 

When he finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she’d tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ears and smiled shyly before saying _yes, she’d love to._ And then when she turned away from him and walked the eleven paces to her dorm room - he knows it was exactly eleven paces because he counted - he did a tiny victory dance that left him as stunned as the students in the hall were scarred.

He didn’t dance. At all.

 

* * *

 

Especially when two months into their relationship, Zeke and Shauna invited them all to the hotel Shauna’s parents owned in Turks and Caicos - to celebrate their engagement. It was extravagant and over the top - but all his friends were all like that. He’d gotten used to it years ago.

She hadn’t.

So when she appeared that night at dinner, in a silky blue slip dress that gleamed under the moonlight, and brought out the stars in her eyes - looking so endearingly uncertain about whether or not she was dressed correctly for the occasion - that he couldn’t help but spend a good ten minutes kissing her worries away.

 

* * *

 

So, now, when she’s dancing underneath the pulsing light, and her eyes are twinkling in delight, and her hair is spinning around her face like a halo - how can Tobias not notice her?

It’s impossible.

Impossible for Tobias to not find his gaze drawn to Tris, even before he knows it’s his fiance twirling in the grey crushed velvet dress on the dance floor.

Impossible for him to look away, as she dances closer, closer, closer to the blonde-haired-green-eyed man with his hands on her waist, inching lower, lower, lower.

Impossible for him to look away, no matter how much it hurts, when the love of his life throws her head back in delight - and a stunning smile graces the edge of her lips. And even though it’s not directed at him, he can feel the edges of his heart tug in response.

_Why? Why doesn’t she smile like that at him anymore?_

He still can’t look away - no matter how hard he tries, he can’t break away from the deceptive appeal of his blonde - but Tobias isn’t sure he can still call her _his blonde_ anymore. He isn’t sure if she’s ever been _his blonde._

And he’s naive enough to keep thinking that maybe it isn’t what it looks like - maybe the guy is her gay best friend that he’s never met - maybe they’re just friends, _that’s all, that’s all, that’s all_ \- and he knows it’s just a bunch of crappy excuses, but he’s still hoping, he’s hoping, he’s praying to god that he’s misreading all the signals, but-

He can’t make any excuses for when Tris grins, and kisses the other guy with a fervor that she’s never seemed to have with him.

 _Why can’t he look away? Even when his heart is breaking - why can’t he ever say -_ **_Stop. Enough. We’re done._ **

_Because she’s Tris Prior, that’s why._

And, just like always - he can’t ever look away.

Not even now - when her arms are wrapped around another man, and her lips are locked with another’s - definitely not his, because the only thing his lips have touched for the past half an hour or so - he doesn’t really know, because for him, time ceased to exist the moment he saw her happy with someone else - is the shot glass, as he swallows shot after shot.

They don’t break apart.

She doesn’t even come up for air.

Their kisses last way longer than any of their’s ever have.

_Why is she kissing him, and not me? Why are we at the same club - but on opposite sides? What went wrong? What happened to us?_

And then he’s out of his seat - throwing down a fifty dollar bill beside his empty glass. But he’s not heading towards the dance floor - no, he’s heading directly opposite.

Because he’s finally cracked, and he can no longer stomach the sight of Tris with another guy - his _fiance_ with another guy - _he has no idea where her ring is, because it’s sure as hell not on any of her fingers -_ but he can’t watch anymore, not when his vision is tinted red, and his fists ache for a face to plummet - but he’s not Marcus.

 _He’s not Marcus, he’s not Marcus, he’s not Marcus -_ he has to keep reminding himself that he’s not his father. But with each passing second, the reminder grows dimmer, and he knows that if he stays any longer - there’s no turning back from the monster he vowed never to become.

So he pushes his way through the crowd, and past the several girls who put themselves in his path - he has no interest in any one of them, because they’re not petite, they’re not blonde, they don’t have wide blue-gray eyes that take up a large portion of their face - _Okay, maybe some of them are, but it doesn’t matter_ \- they’re not Tris.

They’re not Tris, who tuns at just the right moment - whose eyes are wide as they catch onto him.

And then he’s out the door, and stumbling towards his car.

He’s drunk, he knows. But he can’t find it in himself to care at all.

 

* * *

 

He knows that she’s seen him.

 

And he loves her enough to sit in his car for another few minutes - surrounded by nothing but the pieces of his broken heart, and hearing nothing but the sound of the ever-so-fragile pieces make as he relives the moment when she turns and stomps all over the pathetic shards in her six-inch heels;

 

Because he knows that she’s definitely seen him, in those five seconds before he’d turned and fled.

 

But in the four minutes, he spends sitting in his car - she doesn’t make an appearance at all.

 

And in the three seconds it takes for him to get his shaking hands to comply with his thoughts;

 

It only takes him two minutes to shift his car into gear and he’s speeding away, away, away;

 

When a single tear drips from the corner of his eye and makes its way down his cheek - it’s all it takes to break the dam - and he loses all control;

 

So it’s not a surprise when, half a second later - his car becomes a mangled piece of metal;

 

And Tobias - is a doll, with unshed tears in his eyes, and a heart that doesn’t even manage a quarter of a beat.

 

 

_Six was always his unlucky number._


End file.
